Amidst the haste I choose to linger
Embracing moments sweet and slow
Through devotion the heart is a singer
And in the stillness melodies grow
Embracing moments sweet and slow
Through devotion the heart is a singer
And in the stillness melodies grow
With each small step treaded with care
Through fields of wonder I softly roam
In the quietness I am made aware
Of wonders which call this earth home
Through fields of wonder I softly roam
In the quietness I am made aware
Of wonders which call this earth home
Finding peace in the quietness of living
January ⋅ 2024
It is the beginning of a new year and a feeling of stillness envelops me. I would usually find myself amidst a flurry of calendars and notebooks filled with carefully planned resolutions, but this time I feel like a sailboat adrift on a calm lake, surrendering to the gentle cadence of the waves. Gone is the urge to wrestle against the current and defy the natural slow movement of living. This time, I want to feel as calm as the surface of the water, yielding only to the subtle motions that guide me along the natural course of life. I have not made any plans, except to continue cherishing the simple delights that have filled my days with tranquility. The warm cup of coffee in the morning, the moments stolen to gaze at passing clouds, the smell of a lavender-scented candle, the radio softly playing from the corner of the room. This calmness is very new to me. It arrived with a subtle pang of guilt, a whisper in my mind suggesting I should strive for grander dreams and reach for loftier heights. I turned, as I very often need to, to the words of Mary Oliver:
“ You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting. Announcing your place in the family of things. ”
I repeated the words quietly to myself, hand over heart, throughout the month: “You do not have to be good”. I once set myself the intention to live this life savoring each opportunity to learn something new and unfurl into a gentler version of myself with each passing day. It's a journey that's ushered me into wonderful new perspectives. Yet, this practice, if not tended to with true mindfulness, may morph into a mere reflex, used to fend off the discomfort of quietness and the myriad of thoughts that accompany the state of being still. This year, I promised myself that I would learn how to rest. I had joyously embraced the idea of being a student of life, because the notion of seeking understanding within the mundane details resonated deeply within me. However, of late, I've come to the realization that amidst my pursuit of growth, I seem to have veered off course from the essence that initially inspired this commitment.
This filled me with an unwelcome burden, compelling me to avoid stillness at all costs. I felt unconfortable leaving situations wherein I perceived no gleanings of inspiration. And on the days left behind with no big life lessons or epiphanies, I felt guilt. "You do not have to be good." I repeated, over and over. Gradually, I found myself immersed in days where I achieved no grand feats whatsoever. There were mornings when I lingered in bed until my back began to hurt. There were afternoons when I delved into books that taught me nothing, but the words made me laugh. There were moments when I ventured outdoors merely to perch upon a park bench and admire the birds. And in the embrace of those unassuming days, I discovered a sense of joy and inspiration. I learnt to love the pauses and the recesses.
"Meanwhile the world goes on," I repeated with understanding. In this vast world, so much eludes our gaze as we chase after hollow pursuits. Yet, amidst our inobservance, existence thrives, indifferent to our preoccupations. The river persists in its meandering course, the birds persist in their melodic serenades, and the flowers persist in their blossoming toward the sunlight. I believe the ultimate boon comes to us when we break free from the ceaseless quest for achievement and productivity, realizing our connection with this grand tapestry of living. We can harmonize ourselves into the symphony of nature, finding comfort within its embrace. This lesson has been, so far, the loveliest path to inner tranquility I have encountered. There's an abundance to behold, a wealth of beauty begging to be immortalized in poetry and song. Each moment teaches endless lessons, awaiting for open hearts. This year, I aspire to attune myself to the present moment, to revel in the beauty and the privilege of being here and in this moment.
Further Perspectives on Quietness
・ We Manage Most When We Manage Small; a poem by Linda Gregg.
・ Creating a Softer Life for Myself; a newsletter by Samantha Corrie.
・ When Feeling Lost, Look Around and Pay Attention; a newsletter by Jacki Carr.
・ The House Was Quiet and The World Was Calm; a poem by Wallace Stevens.